I carried a water melon

I spend a lot of time telling myself to shut up.

I talk A LOT, but what you don’t realise is, that’s me holding back. Me talking a lot, is mostly me talking a bit, but holding most of the words in my head and preventing them coming out. Can you imagine how unbearable I’d be if I let it out?

In North Wales (where I come from) this incessant talking is considered normal. But everywhere else? It doesn't seem to be the thing.

I’ve been thinking about this because I had a training day yesterday, a small intimate group of six. Within minutes of arriving, in that awkward silence before the training begins, I’d (unintentionally) insulted the man sitting next to me and told the group all about my fasting. Something they really didn’t need to know. But I just couldn’t help it.

You see I can’t stand a group of strangers sitting in silence before a meeting starts, all worrying about what they'll say in the dreaded ‘round the table introductions’. I always have to chat, get people talking, find common ground (aka humiliate myself and insult a few people) so by the time we do the intros it's just not that bad.  

Apparently this is a problem. A work-based coach once told me that I needed to stop ‘forcing my personality on people’ and let people ‘come and find me’. Not everyone wants to be your friend, he said.

So I tried it for a week.

I was my normal self in the office but when it came to meetings or group discussions, I sat back quietly, let other people take the lead and desperately, painfully, kept all my words tightly locked in my head (the hardest bloody thing I’ve EVER done).

And what happened? I had a whole week of people asking what was wrong.
Was I ill? Stressed? Everything alright at home? Unhappy? Leaving? Pregnant?

No, I’m just letting you all come and find me. (weirdo)

But he had a point, not everyone likes a chatterbox and they don't all want to join in. So just let people be.

Dirty Dancing classic lines

So occasionally I put these tips into practice and remain silent, but most of the time I forget all about it and speak before engaging brain.

In my excitement and urge to make everyone feel relaxed, I tell inappropriate jokes and dole out excruciating insults.

They don’t look funny in writing, without the perfectly timed delivery and painful tumbleweed silence that follows.

But this t-shirt (bought for me by colleague mumofthreeworld) says it all.

You don't always need to eat cake - fasting

We've been out for the last two hours, in a cold biting wind, watching Prince Charles open the village shop. Like visitors at a zoo, trying to catch a glimpse of an exotic animal. My fingers were frozen but a brisk walk up a steep hill, pushing my sleeping daughter in the buggy, soon warmed me up.

It's 2pm and we're home now. There's a hot cup of coffee steaming next to me. But there's no milk in it and I'm resisting the banana muffins sitting waiting in the tin on the shelf. Today I'm fasting.

It's my second day of fasting in my first week of the lifestyle advocated by Dr Micheal Mosely. And it's probably the first time I've felt weak. My whole body feels cold and what I really need is a cup of strong milky tea accompanied by some kind of cake.

Weirdly, I'm really enjoying it. It makes me feel good, energised, bright. I don't feel like I've given anything up, deprived or even hungry. The empty stomach feeling is actually really nice.

So is fasting another fad diet for those lazy arses who can't be bothered to change to a healthy lifestyle?

It's not just about losing weight, there's a lot of science behind fasting. It's claimed to lengthen life expectancy, can reduce levels of IGF-1 (insulin-like growth factor 1, which leads to accelerated ageing), switches on DNA repair genes and reduces blood pressure, cholesterol and glucose levels.

I'm simply controlling what I'm eating to get the maximum health benefits, but only for two out of seven days. On the other days I can eat what I like but that's not happening. I'm questioning everything I eat (now that I know I can go for most of the day without). It's already having an impact on the rest of my diet.

So it turns out I don't always need milk in my coffee and I don't always need cake after a walk. Who knew?

For more on intermittent fasting, click here

The Gallery - Boys

A group of boys, born within a month of each other, bound by their mother’s need for coffee, counselling and company. Products of the NCT ante-natal production line.

Almost 5 years on, the boys are as close as ever. More like brothers than friends, they play, they argue, they fight and they sit in silence together.

And the mums still mainly just chat.

But no matter what I do  and no matter how many I take (I have hundreds) they will never EVER pose for a sensible photograph.

This post is part of The Gallery, view the Sticky Fingers Blog to see more