Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Introducing...the LadyBib

I’ve decided that baby-bibs are pointless. It's taken two children to help me realise this, but I've had an epiphany. The wrong people wear the bibs around here and things need to change. It's not our children we need to protect from splashes and spills. It's us.

Mothers - we are being taken for a ride. Adorning our babies with every type of bib imaginable. Cute ones, funny ones, ones with slogans, made of plastic, made of cotton. Washable, disposable, even ones with arms and legs. But I put this to you - use a bib and your child will find somewhere else to put the food.

ALL. OVER. YOU.

You see, as my perfect baby girl sat quietly in her high chair, looking clean, serene and still wearing the same dress I put on her that morning – I was already on my third outfit. Something's wrong here I thought. The balance isn't quite right. Why is she the one wearing the bib but I'm the one covered in snot and food?

Bibs are sold on the promise of protecting baby's clothes from spills. Errr, but she's got five times as many clothes as me. So many that I panic she won't get to wear them all before she grows out of them. So why the hell am I protecting them from spills? Surely I should be encouraging her to spill more, so I can change her more often!

Meanwhile, my wardrobe choice is so limited, that I've started wearing my husband's clothes. Oh I've got plenty of clothes in my pre-pregnancy size, but as I'm still carrying a fair amount of baby weight, I only fit into a few select maternity items, and I can't afford to buy anything new to get me through my *temporary* fat state.

So I’ve taken things into my own hands and invented the 'LadyBib'. (Sounds rude, I know). It's the most practical wardrobe item you will ever own. Trust me.

I know you can't tell (!), but I made it myself. (see photo). It covers three key areas. The shoulders (snot, sick, dribble), the front (food spray) and the back (sick you don't see until someone you fancy kindly points it out). You can slip it on over anything and wear it around the house. Just don't forget to take it off before going out.

I now only wear one outfit per day and when I get dressed in the morning, I know that's it. It's improved my quality of life considerably. In fact, I'm going to make more, so I always have a clean one while the other is in the wash.

You know I'm right.

Ditch the baby bibs, invest in a LadyBib instead. It’s the next big thing.

To make one LadyBib

Find old t-shirt (I cut up my maternity nighty – very satisfying). Find pair of sharp scissors. Cut t-shirt off around bust area. Discard bottom. Wear with pride.