Me right now - The Gallery

This is me, right now (11pm, Tues 31 Jan 2012)

Well it's a little bit of me (the bright white patch in the bottom right corner).

Tara Cain wants to know what we're doing right now, as we read this week's Gallery topic on the Sticky Fingers blog. It's 11pm, I'm sitting at the computer and a strange hooded man sleeps behind me.

Match of the Day is on. He turns it on, then falls asleep. I'm supposed to be working, but now I'm the one watching Match of the Day.

Me. Right. Now.       Life on the edge.

(can't go outside cos there's a big cat stalking us)

Thou shalt not covet thy daughter's doll

My daughter - my only daughter - was 1 this week.

Her carers at nursery have been telling me for the last month 'she wants a doll'. Apparently she is very maternal and screams when her dolls are taken away.

I thought she just liked cars and stress balls.

Anyway, if I was going to buy her a doll it was going to be special. So I got her a beautifully put together, quirky, completely delicious Moulin Roty ragdoll. Here she is:

AND NOW I WANT IT

But she’s 1 and you shouldn’t take toys from a baby.

But I think she really does prefer the stress ball.

 *puts doll in inside pocket of work coat and runs off*

It's not like on TV

The problem with getting older is you realise more and more that life just isn’t like what you see on the TV.

Take Rugby. I’ve watched more rugby on the TV than I have seen in real life. I watch the players, I note the moves, I plan my Wednesday session.

I go on the rugby field, I become the player. I AM the player.



After tonight's training



Only I’m not.

The coach describes the drill, I take it in (keen as mustard me), only the disaster that occurs the other end isn’t what I’ve seen on TV or what I’ve planned in my head.

And why can't I stay clean for once?

In local government speak, I’m just not achieving the right 'outcomes'.

The same would happen if I ever went on Strictly Come Dancing.

In head – Ola Jordan.

In reality – Ann Widdecombe.

(and don’t get me started on Masterchef and my high-speed chopping of veg)

I’m going to give up watching TV, it’s making me set unrealistic expectations. As my Uncle Bill (RIP) would have said, “it’ll end in tears”

But I live in Hope.

(and die in Caergwrle)